Post Partum Healing: How to Support Emotional Healing after Pregnancy and Birth
As a hypnobirthing teacher and healing coach I have mums (to-be) coming to me for emotional healing support. Many of us struggle to find our way in this life changing experience; rediscovering ourselves, our bodies and our relationships. Maybe pregnancy and birth didn’t go as you hoped for, leaving behind feelings of failure, guilt or sadness.
This new phase may have brought up old feelings from prior relationships, (sexual) abuse, or other negative experiences, triggering you as you try to continue. I see it time and time again, it is completely normal! These triggers - how overwhelming they may be - create the beautiful opportunity to allow you to find healing. These are my tips to promote emotional healing after pregnancy and birth:
Tip 1 - It’s ok, not to be ok!
It begins by acknowledging what you feel is ok. That it is normal to feel like everything isn’t ok. Really, it is ok! Whatever you are feeling right now, tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, is ok. However, do not ignore it!
Tip 2 - Listen
Start paying attention to what triggers you. Is it something that is being said to you? Is it a sound, a smell, a situation that reminds you of something? When you figure out what is your trigger, you need to look at the story behind it. What are you telling yourself? Are you telling yourself you are not good enough? You don’t deserve it? For example, when you get into an argument with your partner for not doing things your way, is it because it makes you feel worthless? Or when you’re not in control, is it because you are scared to lose everything you worked so hard for? It can be helpful to start journaling and writing down what you are experiencing each day.
Tip 3 - Self-care needs to be the priority
Taking care of yourself has to be your number one priority. The better you feel the bigger the difference you can make in this world; for yourself, your family and your friends. Don’t be harsh on yourself, if you need to take time off to take care of yourself or your little ones, do it! The world doesn’t end when you say ‘No’ every once in a while! That’s why it is so important for you to start listening to what you need. Do you need more rest? Some alone time? Or do you need someone to help you? Remember, knowing your boundaries isn’t a sign of failure! Allow yourself, and others, to take care of you.
Tip 4 - Start EFT
The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or “tapping” is a great and gentle tool to help you release those trapped feelings that you just can’t seem to get rid of. Tapping on specific points of the body, it will help to releasing the blockages within the energy system which are the source of emotional intensity and discomfort you have been feeling. That is why it is so important you need to start listening to what is bothering you and where it shows up in your body. When you do, and start giving it the attention it deserves it will start shifting. When you use EFT on top of this it will promote the healing even further. You may need to do a few repetitions; you may need to do it for a few minutes each day for the next for days or weeks. Just keep going until it’s completely gone!
Postpartum recovery takes time, so give yourself the time you deserve. Take as much rest as you need and make sure you find a balance that works for you with plenty of water and nurturing foods. If you still feel like you are not feeling well, please tell someone. Talk to a friend, colleague, or family member. You are not alone!
Author / Susanne Grant
Susanne is an international Hypnobirthing & Healing coach who specialises in (birth) trauma, PTSD & body issues. She coaches women around the world to heal sexual abuse & trauma as well as prior traumatic births. While pregnant, Susanne’s experience of child abuse put her on a different road of care from her team of midwives. This gave her a new mission in life, helping women heal wounds from the past. Having been diagnosed with PTSD at 17, she knows firsthand how challenging this can be.